Humongo Bob and the U~O~I~A~B
by Humongo Bob the girl
Summary: Humongo Bob the Girl writes on...her version of her story of her dream she had the other day. marc belongs to Marc, Lyz belongs to Lyz. Just so you know. BTW...this is rated PG13 for no reason :P reveiw if you wish, flame if you want. I don't give a Flyin
1. Default Chapter Title

Humongo Bob  
& the U~O~I~A~B   
part 1   
  
It all started with me, Humongo Bob. Or rather, it all started with a **POP!**. Which ever you deam worthy of a beginning. An-y-waaay… OMG I forgot the Author's Note! Aggh, it's all Malfoy's fault…he's the one who put that Memory Curse on me, now I don't remember a thing…  
  
Okie well, now that I've recovered my memory, here's the A/N: **sigh** here comes a freak story that will blow your mind…btw, I'm a girl, and I'm sighing cos you think it's odd for me to be Bob. Well, Flying Monkeys to you who says anything about 'Bob is not a girl name', or 'Bob is a stupid name for a girl,' or, 'Why are you so obsessed with Bobs?' or…well, you get it, eh? So… Aggh Damn you Malfoy I've forgotten again blast it all…uumph end of A/N.   
  
It all started with a **POP!** [a/n: that's best, I think…how bout you?] I was standing on …rather, hanging from… a tree. [a/n: blast it all Malfoy! The Disclaimer… I own Bob Da Squid. I Own Dark Bob. I own Miss Ronaldo. I don't own Harry Potter and his budz, his teachers, his enemies, his clothing…except for the rainbow wizard hat… or his shoes. Except for the clown ones he wears when ya'll ain't lookin'. Ahh yes… I own me too. I bought me from Kmart fifteen minutes ago. I was expensive!] I fell from the tree with an oomph, only to land in a mushy puddle of pond scum and grass.   
  
Humongo Bob: 'Aggh…where the hell am I?'   
  
Big, scary voice says: yooooou arrrrre at Hoooogwaaaarts, yoooou siiiilllly liiiiiitlle giiiiirl…yoooou arrrrrew goooing toooo fallllll iiiiiin looooove wiiiiiiith Haaaaaarry Poooooter!  
  
Bob: Harry Potter? Who the hey ho hum is Harry Potter?  
  
Big, Scary Voice: Haaaaaaary Pooooter, yooooou iiiidiiiiiiooooot! Haaaarrry Poooooter!  
  
Bob: Oh SORR-EEE, Haaaarrry Poooooter…who is he anyway?  
  
Big, Scary Voice: I thought you were the author, Bob, where's your brain? Oops I mean..III Thoooouuughhht yooooouu…  
  
Bob ::cuts off big Scary voice:: Confound you…I am the author, where's your sense of humor? Go away now. Let's get on with the story!   
  
Big, Scary Voice: ::walks away, mumbling:: 'My lines looked longer than that on the page…ummph I feel cheated.'   
  
Bob: Allllll riiiighty then. Where's my Harry? I said, WHERE'S MY HARRY? Oh for GOODNESS SAKES that's your CUE, Marc!   
  
Harry: uhh, hi, Bob..I'm uh, I'm harry … ::whispers to Lyz, who is playing Hermione:: 'What's my line again?'   
  
Bob: You're Harry Potter, and you're fired…someone get me a new Harry, Marc seems influenced by forces out of my command!!   
  
Harry/Marc: Oh, dammit, I lost another job…  
  
  
End part 1…don't worry, don't fret, I'll probly have part two by tomorrow!   
  
  
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Humongo Bob  
and the UOIAB  
part 2  
  
Okay fans I'm back!   
  
Big, Scary Voice: who are you talking to? what fans?  
  
Humongo Bob: MY fans, you idiot voice! I could fire you for that...  
  
BSV: Fine, deny it. You've got zilch fans, and you know it.  
  
Bob: okay FINE but shhhh they don't have to know that!   
  
BSV: duh.. they know..oh well, let's get on with it so we can get some fans. **mutters: not likely, but hey**  
  
Bob: I heard that! Argh, well.. disclaimer: Marc no longer owns himself, I sold him to the old crazy lady across the street.. Lyz owns herself, and I own BSV and myself..all my loans are paid now I'm fully owned by me! Anyway.. on with the show!  
  
BSV: Yoooou aaarre noooow knooowingg whoooo Haaaarry Pooooottteeer iiiiisss?  
  
Bob: yeppo, I know Haaaarry Pooooottteeeer. Where'd he go anyway?  
  
BSV: ahhhh, heeeeere heee coooomes!   
  
Bob: where?   
  
the new Harry: hi..who're you, why're you here, and who were you talking to?  
  
Bob: me? ohh, I was..talking to the Giant Squid. I'm Humongo Bob, and I was in New York..but now I'm here. Can you tell me why?  
  
Harry: no.  
  
Bob: oh well bummer. Know anyone who could tell me?  
  
Harry: I like your accent.. you're from New York?  
  
Bob: that's what I said.. Know anyone?  
  
Harry: you could come see Dumbledore or McGonagall. They miiiiight know. [A/n: not a typo. so shove off!]   
  
Bob: thanks.. where are they?  
  
Harry: just this way. Let's go get Hermione, I've got Quidditch practice...  
  
Bob: what the hell is that?  
  
Harry: I'll... I'll tell you later. Ahh, there's Hermione now.... Hey Herm! Yo!   
  
Hermione: hiya Harry. Oh! Hi there... I'm Hermione..who're you?  
  
Harry: this is umm.. Humongo Bob.  
  
Bob: yeppo that's me! Whatzzupp?   
  
Hermione: oh man, you're from New York! How cool is that?  
  
*Bob grinz  
  
Hermione: why're you here?  
  
Bob: dunno..why am I here? Harry thinks I gotta see Dumbledore. whoever that is.   
  
Hermione: All right, let's go! Bye Harry, have a nice practice!   
  
Bob: yeah, Harry, have a good time at..er, Splittich or whatever!  
  
Hermione: it's Qui-dditch :)  
  
Bob: oh okie. S, where's this Dumbledore dude? Let's split.  
  
Hermione: um, yeah, okay...  
  
~  
  
Hermione: This way, only a bit more.  
  
bob: great..when's lunch?  
  
Hermione: you ARE American, aren't you..  
  
Bob: yeppo hehe!  
  
Hermione: mmm right, well here it is.   
  
Bob: this.. this is a statue.   
  
Hermione: yes well.. just watch. 'Jelly Squids!'  
  
*Gargoyle jumps up out of their way  
  
Bob: wow! it's alive!!  
  
Hermione: no, it's magic.  
  
Bob: duuuuude!  
  
Dumbledore: Ahh hello, girls. Hermione, you've found Humongo Bob! Good job, really. Whatzzupp, Bob?  
  
Bob: um.. not much.. d'you know why I'm here?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes, I do.   
  
Bob: umm... why?  
  
Dumbledore: To fall in love. With Harry Potter.  
  
*Hermione gasps  
  
Bob: why?  
  
Dumbledore: it's manners.  
  
Bob: really, why?  
  
Dumbledore: because of the prophecy. You'll know sooner or later. When it's time.   
  
Bob: argh! you sound like my parents...  
  
The end for now! Sorry so short, I've got school tomorrow :(.. bye 4 now.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
